I remember Walter

This just in: Nobody talks about how hot Sloan Peterson is (was). Did you FORGET about her?

Did you forget about Cassandra, too?



Come on! She plays guitar, dude! GUITAR!

What about the OTHER Sloan? Hmm?



Ok, I'll be honest: I'm pissed right now. Cassandra and the Sloans, they're just a front. I'm pissed because I'm procrastinating. I'm tired. And I probably need a cigarette.

I was looking up this song that has the highest play count in my iTunes, because I'm obsessive, and it feels good, and found something fucking blasphemous.

First of all, she is a fucking HOMOPHOBE and has offended allies of the lgbtq community MULTIPLE TIMES.

Second of all, her face reminds me of my dumb ex who I am OBVIOUSLY so much better than butsecretlycantstopthinkingaboutevenfortwoseconds.

ALSO, she bastardized the Beach Boys. THE BEACH BOYS!!!!!

That was fine, whatever, I got over it. But THEN...




...she decided she was entitled enough to cover MGMT's Electric Feel.

She fucking ruined my favorite song. My underwear-in-the-mirror song. Do you not realize how SERIOUS THIS IS PEOPLE!?

I could justify her bigotry cuz hey, it's trendy and sells records. I can get past her face and sound giving me a twinge from a relationship gone sour. I can call it even with her stupid Beach Boys ripoff. But not this. I will not let KPerry take Electric Feel away from me.

I WILL reclaim Electric Feel just like those crazy feminists took back words like CUNT and CLIT and did STUPID performance art with it.

Times like these when I really need to find some footing, I ask myself W.W.R.G.D.? He would say Page, it's alright to cry.



New personal philosophy.