If a guy is famous or really good-looking, you need to seriously consider if herpes is worth it.
Homeless people on the bus smell BAD and make me feel awkward.
Another person who makes me feel awkward is that preacher guy on library mall. WTF dude?
Aspartame will fuck your shit UP and you shouldn't drink so much diet coke!
The best gifts are hand-made. You're getting a macaroni picture frame for christmas.
Don't forget to MOISTURIZE people! It's freaking WINTER!
Make an attempt to stay up late for astronomical events, such as last night's lunar eclipse of a full moon on the winter solstice.
Now that you have all this free time, watch old episodes of Bob Ross and also anything with Dick van Dyke.
If you wake up one day and you're feeling REALLY crappy it's OKAY to cancel everything and lay in bed for several hours. Bonus if you have a friend in bed with you.
Things everyone should do always: wear your seatbelt, floss, say thank you
Hey, do yourself a favor and at least FAKE a smile! You'll feel way better.
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