Ukulele kids

One quick post before I head to the train station to catch a train to Krakow. I've finished packing up all my things and am waiting for my last hour in this house to pass. I'm sure I'll be fed one more time and probably be handed a bag of goodies from my host mother. They've already given me some nice things but they take up way more space in my suitcase than I allotted for. One is a really fancy tea cup and saucer that is housed in this large wooden box. I think I'll have to ditch the box, even though it's really cool and I know someone who would love to have it when I get home. They also gave me a pierogi making set - three different sized plastic contraptions that stamp out the shape of the pierogi and allow for mechanized folding of the dough so you can't mess up. Unfortunately they also came in a big cardboard box. I'll probably end up taking them out and stuffing them in the sides of my luggage until it bursts.

No matter how well planned you are, how detailed your itinerary and packing lists, there is always some anxiety that comes with packing up and moving out. Do I have everything? Did I double check? Did I get all the small things that are easily forgotten? My alarm clock? My toothbrush? My sandals by the door? Part of me really loves that feeling. It's a rush and it makes me feel real and here in the moment. I can feel the pace of my heartbeats increasing, and my stomach feels empty even though I've just had a meal. I'm grabbing on to that anxiety with both fists and keeping my eyelids open as far as they will go. It's like grabbing onto a tire swing and getting a running start to jump into a big lake. You have to make sure there is a clear path before you start and don't let yourself slip on any rocks or mossy wet grass when you run. But I think I'm ready. I'm definitely ready to leave my host family behind and enjoy the few hours in Krakow with the rest of the volunteers.

Part of me wants the next 48 hours to fly by, and part of me hopes that they go slowly so I can soak up every minute. I know that everything will be the same when I get back to the states and it won't take me long to run through my litany of stories and photos and feelings. I can settle back into my routine seamlessly. I wonder if I'll regain my old feelings about life and people and humanity right away, or if the introspection that has happened on this whole trip will cling to my innards for a long time, like a parasite. But more of a symbiotic relationship. I kind of hope that the latter will turn out to be true, since I really have enjoyed learning about myself and living at my limits each trying day. I think I'm a better person now, not to say that I needed a world of improvement before I left, but I like the things I've seen in myself and am happy about how I have handled the tests of teaching, living with a host family, and homesickness. It's like talking about tribes in Papua losing their culture due to televisions and mainstream media exposure. What happens when they've lost all their culture? Do they become cultureless? Anyone with a left brain and a right brain should know that it's not possible for any being to be without culture - the reality is that their lives have shifted and changed. They haven't lost anything.

Will write more when we get to Krakow. Can't wait!

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