Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Oh, le blog
1. If you are going on a trip somewhere, remember that you will not use 75% of what you pack.
2. If you are going on a trip somewhere, you WILL end up making a special trip inland to buy something that you have an EXTRA ONE of at home.
3. Don't get all wasted and then call me to "see what's up" and then act like you don't remember it.
4. When you hear birds in the morning, that means spring is nigh, and it's time to think about buying a gym membership because you can't hide your sag-a-lags under baggy clothing anymore. Leggings, anyone?
5. If you can't tone it, tan it.
6. Wear sunscreen you d-bag.
7. Being boy crazy and vain is OKAY, just don't be a dick.
8. Smoke less cigarettes but drink more beer.
9. Drive north until you hit Lake Superior.
10. It's probably okay to hook up with an ex if they are generous/rich/good-smelling.
11. To dudes who wear flip-flops: please don't.
12. Play dress-up in real life and wear sunglasses indoors and at night.
13. Don't be a dick to your parents.
14. Eat MORE celery and LESS cake!
15. Host a Texan-style ranch party. The parameters of this theme are rather flexible but should include ten-gallon hats, a cowbell, tumbleweed, a spittoon, apple pie and someone playing banjo on the porch.
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